Jigglypuff vs Mega Satan - Who Would Win

Jigglypuff vs Mega Satan - Who Would Win

Ever since I started doing these who would win in a fight posts there’s one combatant I’ve wanted to use more than any other. However this combatant was so strong, so powerful I didn’t think I could ever find a suitably matched opponent. Today however everything changed. I bring you this battle today.

 

We have Jigglypuff, the world’s most powerful Pokémon vs Mega Satan, a more powerful version of the embodiment of evil and sin and perhaps the best named video game boss of all time. Today’s battle will perhaps be the most intense in the history of everything that ever has or will exist. I’ll start with Jigglypuff.

 

Standing at a menacing 0.5 metres tall Jigglypuff is the balloon Pokémon originally found in the Kanto region. It possess both the normal and the fairy typing’s giving it numerous useful resistances to types such as dark and fighting and total immunity to ghost and dragon. It has a decent number of hit points and while its other stats don’t look like much using base stats to judge Pokémon against things that aren’t Pokémon is very sketchy. For example its base speed would indicate it could move at hundreds of miles per hour if compared to the base speed of Dragonite, a Pokémon that can orbit the earth in 16 hours despite being about average in terms of a Pokémon speed stat.

 

Jigglypuff being a Pokémon is an extremely experienced fighter having experiences thousands of battles against hundreds of foes. it also has a unique advantage of being part of all four super smash bros games, meaning it has fought far more different types of powerful enemies, including gaming’s biggest mascot Mario, a multitude of master swordsmen, a legendary bounty hunter, a psychic and what you could easily argue to be the most powerful video game character of all in Kirby. Not only has Jigglypuff fought these might enemies but it has also defeated them all, even to a point of becoming one of the most powerful of all in melee, the one all the pros play.

 

However you could ignore smash bros and Jigglypuff is still a powerhouse. Jigglypuff’s most defining ability is its ability to put things to sleep when it sings. When it decides to use this ability it will first mesmerize it’s foe with its eyes. It will inflate its lungs with air and then let all the air out as a soothing lullaby. It will continue to sing its lullaby until its lungs run out of air and everything around it will be put to sleep. In fact the pokédex repeatedly mentions that it can adjust the wavelength of its voice to put anything to sleep and in Pokémon emerald the pokédex states that NOTHING can avoid this. However not only does its lullaby put enemies to sleep but it makes them feel drowsy and thus slower and more vulnerable when they eventually wake up.

 

The puff does have other moves outside of sing. The most notable are disable, a move that prevents an opponent using the move it last used for an extended period of time. It can hyper voice, a move that emits sound wave to damage an enemy, rollout where it rolls into a ball and slams the foe, increasing in power with each hit and double edge where Jigglypuff tackles an opponent causing immense damage to both the enemy and itself. It has wake up slap which does double damage to a sleeping enemy and then wakes them up. If we’re taking smash bros into account then it can use rest, which makes Jigglypuff fall asleep and somehow do a collosal amount of damage to anything that was too close. Finally we have mimic in which Jigglypuff can mimic any attack used against it.

 

On top of all this Jigglypuff only weighs 5.5 kg. It is also filled with air as being the balloon Pokémon would suggest and while it is a lot denser than air due to its rubbery, it can inflate itself futher to control how slowly it falls through the air. Also having only a diameter of 0.f meteres makes it a small target and difficult to hit with any kind of attack.

 

This is where I’d normally discuss any weaknesses. Moving on.

 

In all seriousness in a Pokémon battle in a game Jigglypuff is pretty weak. The key thing is it’s a Pokémon battle which is turn based. Outside of turn based combat where Jigglypuff. If it can sing straight away there is no reason why it couldn’t defeat every Pokémon in existence by putting them straight to sleep. Sure it’s not very agile but it doesn’t need to be if it can sing its lullaby. You can pretend Jigglypuff is just a weak Pokémon but you’re only kidding yourself.

 

Let’s move on to the opposition. Mega Satan is the final boss fight in The Binding of Isaac Rebirth. It is the hardest boss in the game and the most difficult to reach. Defeating Mega Satan unlocks the 16^th and final ending of the game and is Isaac’s final obstacle in his imaginary world.

 

Inducing the size of Mega Satan is difficult and my calculations are vague at best. However I do have a rough idea which I can use. Isaac is probably around 5 years old and the average height of a 5 year old is 40 inches which is 1.016 meters. Mega Satan’s head is roughly three times taller than Isaac so he is about 3 metres tall, give or take a few metres probably. This would make his head about 5 metres wide, from the tip of one horn to the other. While these calculations are vague what they show is Mega Satan is far bigger than Jigglypuff.

 

What makes Mega Satan so difficult is his barrage of powerful attacks and high base hit points. His 1^st phase has 3000 hit points while his 2^nd has 2000 and his hands 600. In his first phase he will attack with a variety of attacks. He will multiple barrages of directional blood shots or smash his head into the ground to scatter more blood shots. He can fire a downwards beam as well as use his hands to smash the ground to send waves of rocks at you.

 

After reaching enough damage he will summon the four horsemen of the apocalypse, starting with Famine and Pestilence and then followed by Death and War. After they are defeated and reaching a threshold of damage he will summon the seven super versions of the deadly sins. Super Envy is first, followed by Super Lust and Super Wrath and finally Super Gluttony, Super Sloth, Super Greed and Super Pride.

 

Then after another threshold of damage is reached he will summon Dark Uriel and then Dark Gabriel. It should also be noted that if you take too long then Mega Satan will summon the normal deadly sins. If that wasn’t enough after this he will sink into the darkness and emerge as his final form, a skull.

 

Mega Satan’s final form is even more dangerous. It will He will fire many different coloured shots in very difficult to dodge patterns as well and multi coloured fire. The skull will continue to crack as you damage it and eventually if you can reduce his heath to zero he will be defeated. So what are Mega Satan’s weaknesses? Again there aren’t really any. It’s powerful, can summon hosts of other powerful things to fight for him and he has a tonne of health. If nothing else, he’s a mega version of Satan. It’s clearly not to be messed with.

 

Now I know what you’re thinking (I can read your thoughts). Firstly you’re thinking that whoever writes this blog must be incredibly interesting and you’d love to meet them. Secondly you’re thinking that I’ll come up with some contrived reason to make Jigglypuff win for a not particularly funny joke. This is not true at all as you’re about to see.

 

I think it’s obvious that Jigglypuff can quickly put Mega Satan to sleep, the question is does the pink balloon have the means to put down Mega Satan before it can wake up. The answer? No. Jigglypuff does not have the attacks to kill Mega Satan. It can repeatedly put it to sleep but it would only be a matter of time before the mega anti-Christ could land a killing blow.

 

So is that it? Has Jigglypuff been defeated? Well while Jigglypuff’s attacks may not be powerful enough to kill Mega Satan quickly enough, it doesn’t need them to win. In fact, Mega Satan’s attacks are strong enough to kill Mega Satan. Jigglypuff as I discussed earlier can use the move mimic and mirror any attack used against it. This means anything from firing blood shots to summoning the four horsemen of the apocalypse is possible for Jigglypuff in this battle. Mega Satan may be able to take on Jigglypuff’s solo abilities (An impressive feat) but there’s no way it can also survive on onslaught of its own powers used against it. Yes even the anti-Christ cannot survive an encounter with the puff. The victory goes to Jigglypuff.