Introverts and Extroverts

Introverts and Extroverts

I was sitting with a large group of people, having a discussion about something I can’t remember when someone talked about someone they dislike and said “They’re such an introvert”. Confused, I asked what was wrong with that to which they just shrugged it off. It got me thinking, what is bad about being an introvert or are they just misunderstood?

 

What actually are introverts and extroverts? The first thing google says is an introverts are shy, reticent people. This is the general consensus but it is not true at all. In fact being shy has nothing to do with being an introvert, it is very possible to be a sociable, self-confident introvert. An introvert is someone who energized by being alone and concerned with their inner world rather than external things. An extrovert meanwhile is someone who is energized by being around people.

 

We all need our time to relax and re charge. If you’re an extrovert then chances are in your spare time you try to meet up with people a lot and spend all your time with other people if possible. But is it so hard to believe some people need their time alone to recharge? It doesn’t make them unsociable, it means they relax in different ways and just because you may enjoy your alone time, it does not mean you don’t enjoy spending time with people. It just means after time with people you need some time alone, this is the definition of introvert. In fact 60% of the worlds gifted population (Look it up) is made up of introverts. You could easily be an introvert without even knowing it.

 

It is common for an introvert to sometimes want to spend some time alone, even away from people they are comfortable with. As I said earlier an introvert will like to spend time sieving through their own thoughts and reflecting on past experiences and thoughts. Even if they have great social skills, this time alone can be key to an introvert feeling secure and content. It’s similar to an extrovert needing time with people to socialise and talk about anything that comes to mind. Neither is a bad thing, it’s just different aspects of their personality.

 

Introverts can often enjoy talking with people just as much as extroverts, it’s likely to be the desired topic of conversation that is different. An extrovert will often enjoy or be happy with talking about anything. This can be from deep discussion to general small talk about anything that comes to mind. It is also more likely to be in a large group. An introvert will likely prefer the deep in depth discussion about ideals, ideas and concepts, not just random small talk. An introvert is more likely to think before speaking. They can thus be wittier but then again can add less in a big group. It can be more reserved but thoughtful. This mirrors the kind of thoughts during the alone time.

 

Everything I have said so far does not negatively capture being an introvert in any way. It also does not say anything bad about being an extrovert, it’s is simply a different trait in a person. I also don’t want to generalise people into these two categories, in fact introvert and extrovert are the two extreme levels of a scale, everyone has a bit of both in them, just usually more of one than the other. So why does introvert have such negative connotations?

 

Maybe it’s because introverts are rarer. They take up about 25% of the population while people with more extrovert like qualities are more common. It is easy to be wary of what’s different, equally old presumptions and stereotypes can be difficult to forget. However I think there’s more to it than this.

 

People think introvert just means shy. Shyness is the product of nerves and anxiety, while introvert just defines how you can be re-energized. Maybe people do just misunderstand what an introvert is and don’t realise people they like or even themselves have these qualities. Going off alone to re-energize doesn’t make you un sociable or depressed, if anything an extrovert who has to spend a lot of time alone is far more likely to be depressed. I think they key is to embrace either set of qualities and just like with many things accept the people who are different. Being an introvert myself, while I dislike hearing people bad mouth people like me I am incredibly glad I know a large number of extroverts. They have qualities I lack and I’d like to think I have qualities they lack and if nothing else I’d be very bored if we were all the same and everyone was as great as me.