Pretentious and Proud

Pretentious and Proud

Last night I watched Oscar winning, classic Disney animation Beauty and the Beast for the first time. I had been told of this masterpiece and how I needed to view it now. So I sat down, I watched it and what did I think? A resounding meh. At first I thought I was just watching an overrated film but then I realised it may be my own pretentious nature setting in. Feeling very pretentious and pleased with myself that my standards are far more refined than Oscar winning animation I went with a friend today to watch SpongeBob Square Pants a Sponge out of Water. My refined standards spontaneously combusted as I not only enjoyed but laughed out loud multiple times throughout the film. Sure nostalgia played a role but why was I so pretentious about a high quality film but loved a random kid’s film that showed me what it would be like to be stoned?

 

The definition of the word pretentious is attempting to impress by affecting greater importance or merit than is actually possessed. Here’s the problem. I was not attempting to impress anyone with my opinions of these films, if I was my opinions would surely be switched around. But these are just two films, a very small sample. Maybe I should look deeper.

 

When you meet a new person and you hear them speak what kind of thoughts are going through your mind. What are the first few things you will often say after the typical greeting? I am a very dry individual so I often can’t help myself but use a bunch of witty and sarcastic humour. My friend meanwhile will be incredibly happy and bubbly and try to be as enjoyable as humanly possible. While all the happy makes me very sad it does point out that one of us is very accepting and friendly while the other is more reserved and pretentious.

 

Yes I am admitting I am pretty pretentious at times. When I sit with my large group of friends I interact in a witty and sarcastic way. Sarcasm in itself can be pretty damn pretentious. All comedy is based of misery, sarcasm in many ways simply put’s the user slightly above the victim for a brief moment in highlighting something they’ve done. To me it’s funny but many dislike it for being too pretentious which is understandable.

 

Being pretentious is kind of similar to pride. At times it seems both are necessary, just not too much. When you call someone pretentious you mean they are pretending to be more important than they are. Isn’t being more important one of life’s great goals for some of us. Some of us are happy being in the background but some of us want to be the very best (like no one ever was). Some of us want to be recognised, to be remembered. Some of us just want are born to strive to be better.

 

We all have that one friend. They’re a massive idiot and let’s face it … a bit of a cock. We know who they are and we know what they’re like but they’re our friends anyway. Why exactly? Because they’re the type of idiot who is very likeable along with it. The likeable idiot amongst us isn’t an idiot because they’re not smart, rather they’re an idiot for being pretentious. They’re pretentious because they became like that from their surroundings and they’re pretentious because they enjoy it. They see themselves as societies elite and why? I don’t know but who cares, they’re still a cock but your friend anyway!

 

Fellow pretentious people don’t let anyone stifle your natural ways. You carry on using unnecessarily long words, you carry on speaking metaphorically for no apparent reason. You carry on using wit and claiming you’re the comedic genius of the group and carry on claiming you’re the intelligent one of the family! Why? Because it’s who you are and what you are and if you’re like me you’re probably right anyway. After all, I am the genius of the family.

Professor Layton vs Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria - Who Would Win

Professor Layton vs Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria – Who Would Win

When I write these things the hardest bit is always coming up with the combatants. The Professor Layton series is my favourite video game franchise and I thought I have to get its main protagonist, the Professor himself into one of these battles. The problem? Outside of being a keen fencer Layton doesn’t engage himself in mindless violence. The gameplay through the games is like an old point and click adventure and you progress by solving delightful puzzles. Good traits for some ridiculously pleasant and fun games, not great for a fighter. So the solution? Put him in a giant deadly puzzle of course. Enter Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, the delightfully creepy Pizza restaurant that is almost as scary as an actual Chucky Cheese it’s based off. So if the good Professor was placed in the role of the night guard for five nights could he make it out alive? Let’s find out.

 

 I normally say no outside assistance. However the Professor will receive all the help Mike Schmitt did, hence he will listen to the calls from phone guy. Now let’s discuss the one and only, Professor Layton and beware of Azran Legacy spoilers in the next two paragraphs.

 

Hershel Layton was born to Leon and Rachel Bronev as Theodore Bronev. He had an older brother named Hershel but unfortunately the two boys were orphaned at an early age as their parents were kidnaped by the Targent agency over their knowledge of the Azran civilisation.

 

Suitable adoptive parents were found in Lucille and Roland Layton. They however only wished to adopt one child, Hershel. They did not know which boy was Hershel was however and to make his younger brother happy, Hershel gave his name to his younger brother so he would be adopted into the loving Layton family, thus from now on Theodore Bronev was known as Hershel Layton.

 

Hershel Layton is not the most imposing figure, standing at 5’9” including his signature top hat. He is however a true English Gentlemen, always kind and polite. He is more than willing to help people when they require assistance as well as being all round a very nice guy. He almost always manages to stay relaxed and dignified in any situation and is capable of always keeping calm and focused in even the most panic inducing situations.

 

Being a professor of archaeology and lover of a good puzzle Layton is unsurprisingly a highly intelligent man possessing exceptional logic puzzles. Throughout his adventures he has solved hundreds of different puzzles which require him to do anything from Maths, to looking through trick questions to sliding block puzzles or recognising patterns. That last one could be useful. Professor Layton is more than just a sharp mind however. He is incredibly brave, surprisingly athletic and his fencing ability would naturally give him quick reactions and a good spatial awareness.

 

Layton is also not a stranger to weird and dangerous situations, nor is he to working under pressure. He has survived multiple life threatening situations, experienced mass hallucination and was part of what must be the most heart wrenching moment in video game History (If you’ve played lost future you know exactly what I’m talking about). Professor Hershel Layton is such a likeable character brimming with personality and despite having quite a tragic past has remained a perfect gentlemen.

 

Let’s move on to the nightmare that is Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria (The one from the first game). It’s a obvious parody of Chucky Cheese, with cameras around the restaurant (Although there is a blind shot right outside your doors), a rather problematic power shortage and a really dumb door system (Closing doors drains power apparently). The big problem, the animatronics at night get bored and like to play murder.

 

Most famously, Freddy Fazbear is the face of the pizzeria and is one of three animatronics to start off backstage. He starts off fairly placid but later on through the week becomes very aggressive until night five where he’s on maximum aggressiveness. He goes from the stage to the dining room to the kitchen before entering the east hall. He then likes to go into the corner before going into your office and stuffing you into a rather uncomfortable suit. It’s very important to keep an eye on this guy or he does tend to kill you. He also is the one that kills you after your power runs out, you hear his song and after just long enough for you to think he’s gone he scares the crap out of you.

 

Next up is Bonnie the Bunny, interestingly the scariest animatronic according to the games creator. He also starts backstage and moves between the west hall, the supply closet, the dining area and the west hall corner. He is the most frequent animatronic to try to enter the office and he is also active from night one.

 

Similarly, Chica the Chicken (Not a duck) starts in the stage area and is active from night one. She goes to the kitchen, restrooms, dining area and east hall. She doesn’t attempt to enter the office as frequently as Bonnie however she does linger at the door for a greater amount of time, draining your precious power. Bonnie and Chica will also work together, stick to different doors (Bonnie the left and Chica the right) as well as jamming the doors.

 

Finally there’s Foxy the Pirate, a very unique animatronic. Rather than starting on the stage, he resides in Pirate’s Cove. If you do not check the cove frequently enough he will attack your left door. He sprints down the corridor and bangs on the door, draining the power. It should be noted on night 5 he is active from the start.

 

Finally there is the terrifying Golden Freddy. He appears if you see the rare Golden Freddy poster and teleports into your office and kills you. At least he seems to kill you, although your game crashed when he attacks and you do not go to the game over screen. The poster is rare however and it is highly possible that Golden Freddy is just an illusion as he appears to be an empty suit as well as having no reflection in the office monitors. Even if he is real the jump scare can be avoided if you go to the cameras as he appears in the office.

 

The phone guy gives you rather vague instructions and are only really useful on night 1 and 2. On night 1 he casually tells you the animatronics will try to kill you. He says to check the cameras and close the doors if they get too close. He also mentions the importance of conserving power. On night 2 meanwhile he emphasizes the importance of using the door lights as well as checking pirate cove frequently.

 

So if the Professor was hired as the new night guard would he survive 5 nights? Night 1 would be a cakewalk for Layton. For most of the night he would only have 1 animatronic to keep track of and even when the second came out I can’t see the introductory level defeating such an acute mind. So hooray, the good Professor got through the first night!

 

Night 2 would likely be a similar story. Hershel Layton is an expert at recognising patterns and night 1 would at least give him a small idea of where each Bonnie and Chica go. Obviously he wouldn’t have all their movements sussed but he would at least have an idea of when they were getting close. Freddy isn’t aggressive enough to cause a problem to such a sharp mind and while Foxy could be an issue, I imagine seeing a scary fox peeking out of a curtain would be something you’d be keeping an eye on. So night 2 is done, only three to go.

 

Night 3 could pose a problem, in fact the games creator Scott Cawthon writes around his newspaper article that you probably won’t make it past night three anyway. This isn’t however any average guy so let’s see how it goes.  The biggest change is Golden Freddy can appear on night three. He is rare, so it’s possible that Layton will not even encounter this demonic figure. Let’s assume he does however and see what happens. If you look at a different camera after seeing the scary poster he won’t appear. Also if you look at the camera quickly after he appears in the office he won’t kill you.  The second option seems unlikely as you’d almost certainly freeze in fear. The first option does seem likely however. Would you take a random poster as a reason to look inside your office? Probably not. This is unlikely anyway so it is possible Golden Freddy will kill him but it is unlikely. What about the others. Layton’s fencing makes his reactions quick, certainly quick enough to close the door before Foxy can get in. As for the other three, I can’t see Bonnie being a problem, Layton would have his pattern figured out by now. Freddy isn’t that aggressive all things considered and Chica is an issue but the Professor can keep calm in any situation, especially ones where no one else in in harm’s way. Maybe my bias is impacting this but I think he’d just about make it through.

 

Night 4 is where Freddy Fazbear becomes a real issue. It’s vital to keep track of him as he moves around although it is important to note he always takes the same pathway throughout the restaurant. Bonnie and Chica can jam the lights and doors, however they do make loud sounds when they are close meaning the need to monitor them is less of a priority than that damn bear. The key is to keep track of Freddy and Foxy here. I still expect Layton to stay calm enough to keep his power intact and make it to the dreaded night 5.

 

The final night is upon us, can the beloved Professor make it? This night is full of extreme aggression, even the starting phone call is rather frightening. The good news is Golden Freddy is not going to be an issue. Hooray. The bad news? Actual Freddy is a huge problem though. He is highly aggressive and the east corner should be frequently checked. If he’s there the Professor will need to close the right hand door and quickly. He should not open the door until he hears Freddy’s maniacal laugh as that means he has moved. Foxy is also very aggressive and will need to be checked frequently. He can drain a lot of power by banging on the door after he sprints down the corridor. Freddy and Foxy are the biggest threats here, Layton hopefully will have figured this out and discovered the best way to look for Bonnie and Chica is to just use the door lights. So can he make it? Can Professor Layton get though the entire 5 nights without dying? He’s incredibly smart and logical, he keeps calm and while the challenge is huge, it’s not the first big challenege he’s faced. Plus I wouldn’t put my favourite video game character, one I cosplay as at comicon in the situation to be savagely stuffed into a Freddy Fazbear suit would I? I’m rooting for you Professor, as is the whole of Japan’s romanticised and exaggerated idea of what England is like!

 

I don’t think at this point Bonnie and Chica would pose much of a problem. Foxy, while being a pain I think for someone as smart as Hershel Layton would be manageable especially with quick reactions to close the door when he starts sprinting. Freddy is a problem but again manageable for such a sharp and logical mind. He issue is not getting jump scared, rather running out of power. Freddy attacks a lot quicker on night 5 after power runs out, Layton will need to masterfully conserve power. It could end up as a matter of luck, how much will he be attacked. Will he be forced to waste too much power? Survival seems unlikely, there are no hint coins to help out here. Is this the end of Professor Layton?

 

Absolutely one hundred percent not. The key is the idea of the Professor Layton character. He’s a true gentlemen and he will often day something along the lines of

“A gentlemen leaves no puzzle left unanswered”. Is this the hardest puzzle Layton has had to solve? You may think I’m looking too deeply but Hershel Layton can solve every puzzle put in front of him, that’s the whole point of his games. He solves puzzles, no matter how difficult. This should be the same. Five Night’s at Freddy’s is one big terrifying puzzle just waiting to be solved in order to survive. Mike Schmitt did it, why can’t the genius that is Professor Hershel Layton do the same? There is no answer to that question. The winner here is Professor Hershel Layton … in my opinion. You may disagree, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. If so just remember, a true gentlemen wouldn’t work in such an awful job in the first place.

 

Arrow Season 3 Episode 17 - Suicidal Tendencies Review

Arrow Season 3 Episode 17 - Suicidal Tendencies Review

Another episode of Arrow comes and another cliff hanger leaves us all impatiently for next week’s episode.

 

Suicidal tendencies was, shocker, a suicide squad episode following the newly wed Mr and Mrs Diggle along with just who you’d want on your honeymoon to rescue a U.S Senator in Kaznia, Deadshot and Cupid. Starling City meanwhile was host to a battle between the conflicting Arrow and Atom.

 

My favourite part of the episode was the flashbacks. The flashbacks that don’t involve Oliver are always great strangely and this one was no exception. Floyd Lawton has always been interesting. While at first you really try not to like him at first as he killed Diggle’s brother you cannot help but sympathise with him. He seems remorseless at first but the more of him we saw the more sympathetic he comes across. There are more layers to him than we first thought and he is interesting if nothing else. This episode showed us he does have morality and he does mean well but he’s so messed up in the head from what he’s had to done. It made his heroic sacrifice all the more meaningful and I was genuinely sad. I hope he comes back some day but I can’t see it happening as if nothing else the film’s already cast him.

 

The suicide squad episodes are always enjoyable and this was no exception. I was kind of disappointed that Bronze Tiger didn’t come back but as a replacement Cupid was brilliant. I really liked her, she was crazy but at times kind of endearing for it. Plus some of her lines really made me laugh, especially her moments with Deadshot. On top of this the chemistry between Dig and Lyla is very likeable and believable. I like how the act like real people in a real relationship. They’re not just lovey dovey all the time, but even the dryer moments between them show the audience that they do genuinely care for each other and they are likeable as a result. Lyla doesn’t turn up that often but she’s always enjoyable when she does, she’s a good strong character and the suicide squad is a great little distraction from the main show. I would absolutely love a spin off show about task force X but with the movie being made his seems highly unlikely to ever happen.

 

My favourite scene back in Starling City was the fight scene between the Arrow and Atom. It played out just how I think it should have, the Atom does have more tech and thus is technically more powerful but the show often refers to Oliver’s experience as a key factor and ultimately after Roy was quickly overpowered Oliver triumphed through his own cunning. The interactions between Oliver and Ray was also very believable, Oliver is obviously not pleased about what he’s doing but has to accept it in order to come out of the situation peacefully. You do sense his uneasiness however with the situation and it does seem likely they’ll continue to clash without being fully at each other’s throats like they were here. It is apparent how different their views on the world and crime fighting is.

 

Ray Palmer is a likeable character and I do enjoy his chemistry with Felicity. It is a refreshing change of pace for Arrow to have an upbeat almost Flash like character and he is enjoyable to watch, even in the scenes by himself. His suit was also pretty cool and the abilities were exciting and pretty badass. He is a bit too similar to Iron Man and there’s something about his helmet that I don’t like but he is enjoyable and interesting to watch.

 

He does however sum up the biggest issue with the show and that is that it is getting a little too big. Its cast of characters while all intriguing and fun to watch in their own right does at times feel a little bloated. It’s not that any of them are uninteresting, the issue is character are often side lined for whole episodes. This episode for example had no Thea or Merlin, two characters who are very interesting and important of late. Roy in this episode while having a few funny lines (Especially the one about Ray’s suit being awesome) but let’s face it there was very little reason for him to be there other than he kind of had to be. Back when there was a smaller cast of characters and we got a lot of time with Oliver, Diggle and Felicity it almost felt more personal and more tightly focused.

 

This is almost a credit to the show as they’ve made so many characters I’ve become invested in and maybe I should congratulate the show for making me want more and I will get used to the increasing size of the show but for now it can be a little irritating. The final scene of the episode was superb and it does a great job of setting up next episode where Quentin is likely to go nuts trying to catch the Arrow. It was a very well done scene with the contrast of emotion, as well as then high intensity change as the mayor was killed by Maseo’s arrow.

 

Overall however I thought this was a solid episode. It had its good action, it was quite dramatic but in a good way. I do think they overplayed the romance triangle between Oliver, Ray and Felicity a tad at times but not enough to make it feel obnoxious or ruin the episode. It was dramatic but also slightly more light hearted I though than usual and it did make a nice change of pace. The flashbacks were superb and even the wedding was enjoyable to watch, when it’s so dark and bleak a lot of the time it is very enjoyable when the characters have a really happy moment like in this episode. So yeah, a good episode and I’m definitely hooked and can’t wait for next week.

A Five Nights at Freddy's Recollection

A Five Nights at Freddy’s Recollection

All things that are popular are popular for a reason. Batman is popular because he’s awesome, Twilight is popular because lonely and desperate housewives want to feel fulfilled and 50 Shades of Grey is popular is popular because there is no justice in the world. What about Five Nights at Freddy’s. It has three games now and the third is certainly dividing opinion. Now more than ever opinion seems to be split on the franchise so what better time to talk about it?

So for the three of you who have been living under a rock what is Five Nights at Freddy’s? Well while each game adds more mechanics and gimmicks each game features a security guard sitting completely still in an office, trying to stop yourself from being killed by animatronics that may be possessed by murdered children or stuffed with dead bodies. Yeah, not disturbing in any way. Add a heap of tense and creepy atmosphere, some deep and interesting lore and backstory and some compelling gameplay and you have a great trilogy right?

 

When the first game came out I couldn’t find anyone who disliked it. It was original, it was intense and it was downright scary. Thousands of theories were spouted from the backstory, it made many YouTubers from their over the top reactions to the jump scares. Then again, it scared a lot of people. Most horror games are scary because of what you find and the atmosphere of the location. Five Nights at Freddy’s was scary because you were completely helpless. You couldn’t run away or fight back. All you can do is close your doors and hope your power doesn’t run out. I wasn’t the jump scares that was the scariest bit, but rather the waiting for the animatronics to come and seeing them move around the building. I think this game is great.

 

The sequel was certainly interesting. Its mechanics were slightly changed up and more animatronics were added. A large slice of new info on the lore was presented to us and some weird ass death mini games entered the game. At the time it came out many thought this game was even scarier. I understand, you didn’t have doors anymore, you had to wear a Freddy mask and watch them stand in front of you and glare with their messed up faces. Strangely however, I wouldn’t say it’s scarier per say. The jump scares were more surprising and the mini games were a good addition but the atmosphere wasn’t as thick and it felt a lot less Claustrophobic. It was still really good though and the franchise was still just as popular.

 

The third game was released and things got more interesting. This is where opinion started to split amongst the crowd. The game had sort of a 50/50 split with people having savage arguments in YouTube comment sections. The game was a bit different, there was one animatronic, there was a ventilation system you had to keep on top of and you had to lure the creature away. The death mini games were back in the form of compulsory mini games at the end of each night with hidden mini games to explain the lore and get the alternate ending. Personally I didn’t think this one was as good. I seemed like it was being a bit pretentious with its ridiculous hard to find mini games (The tiles in the office … really) and it was nowhere near as scary. It was still decent though and not worthy of huge amounts of hate like it has been. So why is there so much hatred?

 

Maybe because it’s popular? On the internet people love things that are fairly unknown, it makes it really cool. People tend to dislike popular stuff. It’s not hipster anymore. But there has to be more … there is.

 

People complain it’s not scary anymore. Well duh. Things get less scary the more you experience them. The game isn’t as shocking the longer it goes on, that’s normal. Even the most terrifying things ever created will eventually get scary. Maybe saying having a cutesy animal animatronic jump out at you wasn’t even scary in the first place. It was the build-up and the tension. This was especially apparent in the first game. Every time you put the camera down you could get attacked. They moved, you anxiously waited for them to move before your power runs out. Foxy was genius, the slow and tense atmosphere would become quick and hectic as you scrambled to close the door before it gets down the corridor. The game was great and remained tense even when it got less scary because you wanted to make it to 6 AM. The second was similar in how scary and tense it was and while the third was disappointing and felt like it was there to serve the lore it was at least enjoyable and a nice way to tie up the series.

 

Let’s talk about the lore a little more. I find it hard to believe this was ever supposed to be a trilogy. I imagine it was meant to be a scary one off game with a vague but interesting story. The game was expanded and more sequels were added and the lore was increased but I have always thought the story telling was very clever. It gives enough to theorise but not enough to 100% prove anything and equally never just giving it away. It is very clever as the creator knows at this point an out and out answer would never be able to live up to the hype and expectation you have in your head. In reality any theory could be correct and Scott Cawthon may not even have an entire backstory mapped out. It leaves it to us to fill it in and it makes a highly interesting plot.

 

I think the biggest reason Five Nights at Freddy’s has lost its popularity is because after the success of the first one everyone over hyped the sequels. Hype is a terrible thing for a game, a game will almost never live up to its hype and our opinion will be tainted before we even play it. Maybe we expect a bit too much. These are fun and tense games, is it too much to expect them to go down in gaming history as some of the great horror games like a Silent Hill 2. Will we still be talking about them in about 5 years’ time? Probably not. Were they a good experience when we played them and for a long while afterwards as we pondered on the identity of the purple man or the significance of Golden Freddy? Absolutely yes. So let’s enjoy them while they last and enjoy that lovely feeling of nostalgia when we stumble across them somewhere years later and always remember to watch pirates cove and wind up your music box. Or maybe just get a job where you’re probably not going to die, that’d work too.

Introverts and Extroverts

Introverts and Extroverts

I was sitting with a large group of people, having a discussion about something I can’t remember when someone talked about someone they dislike and said “They’re such an introvert”. Confused, I asked what was wrong with that to which they just shrugged it off. It got me thinking, what is bad about being an introvert or are they just misunderstood?

 

What actually are introverts and extroverts? The first thing google says is an introverts are shy, reticent people. This is the general consensus but it is not true at all. In fact being shy has nothing to do with being an introvert, it is very possible to be a sociable, self-confident introvert. An introvert is someone who energized by being alone and concerned with their inner world rather than external things. An extrovert meanwhile is someone who is energized by being around people.

 

We all need our time to relax and re charge. If you’re an extrovert then chances are in your spare time you try to meet up with people a lot and spend all your time with other people if possible. But is it so hard to believe some people need their time alone to recharge? It doesn’t make them unsociable, it means they relax in different ways and just because you may enjoy your alone time, it does not mean you don’t enjoy spending time with people. It just means after time with people you need some time alone, this is the definition of introvert. In fact 60% of the worlds gifted population (Look it up) is made up of introverts. You could easily be an introvert without even knowing it.

 

It is common for an introvert to sometimes want to spend some time alone, even away from people they are comfortable with. As I said earlier an introvert will like to spend time sieving through their own thoughts and reflecting on past experiences and thoughts. Even if they have great social skills, this time alone can be key to an introvert feeling secure and content. It’s similar to an extrovert needing time with people to socialise and talk about anything that comes to mind. Neither is a bad thing, it’s just different aspects of their personality.

 

Introverts can often enjoy talking with people just as much as extroverts, it’s likely to be the desired topic of conversation that is different. An extrovert will often enjoy or be happy with talking about anything. This can be from deep discussion to general small talk about anything that comes to mind. It is also more likely to be in a large group. An introvert will likely prefer the deep in depth discussion about ideals, ideas and concepts, not just random small talk. An introvert is more likely to think before speaking. They can thus be wittier but then again can add less in a big group. It can be more reserved but thoughtful. This mirrors the kind of thoughts during the alone time.

 

Everything I have said so far does not negatively capture being an introvert in any way. It also does not say anything bad about being an extrovert, it’s is simply a different trait in a person. I also don’t want to generalise people into these two categories, in fact introvert and extrovert are the two extreme levels of a scale, everyone has a bit of both in them, just usually more of one than the other. So why does introvert have such negative connotations?

 

Maybe it’s because introverts are rarer. They take up about 25% of the population while people with more extrovert like qualities are more common. It is easy to be wary of what’s different, equally old presumptions and stereotypes can be difficult to forget. However I think there’s more to it than this.

 

People think introvert just means shy. Shyness is the product of nerves and anxiety, while introvert just defines how you can be re-energized. Maybe people do just misunderstand what an introvert is and don’t realise people they like or even themselves have these qualities. Going off alone to re-energize doesn’t make you un sociable or depressed, if anything an extrovert who has to spend a lot of time alone is far more likely to be depressed. I think they key is to embrace either set of qualities and just like with many things accept the people who are different. Being an introvert myself, while I dislike hearing people bad mouth people like me I am incredibly glad I know a large number of extroverts. They have qualities I lack and I’d like to think I have qualities they lack and if nothing else I’d be very bored if we were all the same and everyone was as great as me.

Jigglypuff vs Mega Satan - Who Would Win

Jigglypuff vs Mega Satan - Who Would Win

Ever since I started doing these who would win in a fight posts there’s one combatant I’ve wanted to use more than any other. However this combatant was so strong, so powerful I didn’t think I could ever find a suitably matched opponent. Today however everything changed. I bring you this battle today.

 

We have Jigglypuff, the world’s most powerful Pokémon vs Mega Satan, a more powerful version of the embodiment of evil and sin and perhaps the best named video game boss of all time. Today’s battle will perhaps be the most intense in the history of everything that ever has or will exist. I’ll start with Jigglypuff.

 

Standing at a menacing 0.5 metres tall Jigglypuff is the balloon Pokémon originally found in the Kanto region. It possess both the normal and the fairy typing’s giving it numerous useful resistances to types such as dark and fighting and total immunity to ghost and dragon. It has a decent number of hit points and while its other stats don’t look like much using base stats to judge Pokémon against things that aren’t Pokémon is very sketchy. For example its base speed would indicate it could move at hundreds of miles per hour if compared to the base speed of Dragonite, a Pokémon that can orbit the earth in 16 hours despite being about average in terms of a Pokémon speed stat.

 

Jigglypuff being a Pokémon is an extremely experienced fighter having experiences thousands of battles against hundreds of foes. it also has a unique advantage of being part of all four super smash bros games, meaning it has fought far more different types of powerful enemies, including gaming’s biggest mascot Mario, a multitude of master swordsmen, a legendary bounty hunter, a psychic and what you could easily argue to be the most powerful video game character of all in Kirby. Not only has Jigglypuff fought these might enemies but it has also defeated them all, even to a point of becoming one of the most powerful of all in melee, the one all the pros play.

 

However you could ignore smash bros and Jigglypuff is still a powerhouse. Jigglypuff’s most defining ability is its ability to put things to sleep when it sings. When it decides to use this ability it will first mesmerize it’s foe with its eyes. It will inflate its lungs with air and then let all the air out as a soothing lullaby. It will continue to sing its lullaby until its lungs run out of air and everything around it will be put to sleep. In fact the pokédex repeatedly mentions that it can adjust the wavelength of its voice to put anything to sleep and in Pokémon emerald the pokédex states that NOTHING can avoid this. However not only does its lullaby put enemies to sleep but it makes them feel drowsy and thus slower and more vulnerable when they eventually wake up.

 

The puff does have other moves outside of sing. The most notable are disable, a move that prevents an opponent using the move it last used for an extended period of time. It can hyper voice, a move that emits sound wave to damage an enemy, rollout where it rolls into a ball and slams the foe, increasing in power with each hit and double edge where Jigglypuff tackles an opponent causing immense damage to both the enemy and itself. It has wake up slap which does double damage to a sleeping enemy and then wakes them up. If we’re taking smash bros into account then it can use rest, which makes Jigglypuff fall asleep and somehow do a collosal amount of damage to anything that was too close. Finally we have mimic in which Jigglypuff can mimic any attack used against it.

 

On top of all this Jigglypuff only weighs 5.5 kg. It is also filled with air as being the balloon Pokémon would suggest and while it is a lot denser than air due to its rubbery, it can inflate itself futher to control how slowly it falls through the air. Also having only a diameter of 0.f meteres makes it a small target and difficult to hit with any kind of attack.

 

This is where I’d normally discuss any weaknesses. Moving on.

 

In all seriousness in a Pokémon battle in a game Jigglypuff is pretty weak. The key thing is it’s a Pokémon battle which is turn based. Outside of turn based combat where Jigglypuff. If it can sing straight away there is no reason why it couldn’t defeat every Pokémon in existence by putting them straight to sleep. Sure it’s not very agile but it doesn’t need to be if it can sing its lullaby. You can pretend Jigglypuff is just a weak Pokémon but you’re only kidding yourself.

 

Let’s move on to the opposition. Mega Satan is the final boss fight in The Binding of Isaac Rebirth. It is the hardest boss in the game and the most difficult to reach. Defeating Mega Satan unlocks the 16^th and final ending of the game and is Isaac’s final obstacle in his imaginary world.

 

Inducing the size of Mega Satan is difficult and my calculations are vague at best. However I do have a rough idea which I can use. Isaac is probably around 5 years old and the average height of a 5 year old is 40 inches which is 1.016 meters. Mega Satan’s head is roughly three times taller than Isaac so he is about 3 metres tall, give or take a few metres probably. This would make his head about 5 metres wide, from the tip of one horn to the other. While these calculations are vague what they show is Mega Satan is far bigger than Jigglypuff.

 

What makes Mega Satan so difficult is his barrage of powerful attacks and high base hit points. His 1^st phase has 3000 hit points while his 2^nd has 2000 and his hands 600. In his first phase he will attack with a variety of attacks. He will multiple barrages of directional blood shots or smash his head into the ground to scatter more blood shots. He can fire a downwards beam as well as use his hands to smash the ground to send waves of rocks at you.

 

After reaching enough damage he will summon the four horsemen of the apocalypse, starting with Famine and Pestilence and then followed by Death and War. After they are defeated and reaching a threshold of damage he will summon the seven super versions of the deadly sins. Super Envy is first, followed by Super Lust and Super Wrath and finally Super Gluttony, Super Sloth, Super Greed and Super Pride.

 

Then after another threshold of damage is reached he will summon Dark Uriel and then Dark Gabriel. It should also be noted that if you take too long then Mega Satan will summon the normal deadly sins. If that wasn’t enough after this he will sink into the darkness and emerge as his final form, a skull.

 

Mega Satan’s final form is even more dangerous. It will He will fire many different coloured shots in very difficult to dodge patterns as well and multi coloured fire. The skull will continue to crack as you damage it and eventually if you can reduce his heath to zero he will be defeated. So what are Mega Satan’s weaknesses? Again there aren’t really any. It’s powerful, can summon hosts of other powerful things to fight for him and he has a tonne of health. If nothing else, he’s a mega version of Satan. It’s clearly not to be messed with.

 

Now I know what you’re thinking (I can read your thoughts). Firstly you’re thinking that whoever writes this blog must be incredibly interesting and you’d love to meet them. Secondly you’re thinking that I’ll come up with some contrived reason to make Jigglypuff win for a not particularly funny joke. This is not true at all as you’re about to see.

 

I think it’s obvious that Jigglypuff can quickly put Mega Satan to sleep, the question is does the pink balloon have the means to put down Mega Satan before it can wake up. The answer? No. Jigglypuff does not have the attacks to kill Mega Satan. It can repeatedly put it to sleep but it would only be a matter of time before the mega anti-Christ could land a killing blow.

 

So is that it? Has Jigglypuff been defeated? Well while Jigglypuff’s attacks may not be powerful enough to kill Mega Satan quickly enough, it doesn’t need them to win. In fact, Mega Satan’s attacks are strong enough to kill Mega Satan. Jigglypuff as I discussed earlier can use the move mimic and mirror any attack used against it. This means anything from firing blood shots to summoning the four horsemen of the apocalypse is possible for Jigglypuff in this battle. Mega Satan may be able to take on Jigglypuff’s solo abilities (An impressive feat) but there’s no way it can also survive on onslaught of its own powers used against it. Yes even the anti-Christ cannot survive an encounter with the puff. The victory goes to Jigglypuff.

Arrow Season 3 Episode 16 - The Offer Review

Arrow Season 3 Episode 16 - The Offer Review

After an annoying break Arrow returned with a slid episode to start the push to the end of the season.

 

The offer focused on well, the offer made by Ras al Ghul to Oliver to take over the league of assassins and become the next Ras al Ghul. The flashbacks followed Oliver and Akio as they evade their attackers through Hong Kong.

 

I really did enjoy this episode as I like what it is setting up. Its main job was to set up the bigger things happening towards the end of this season and I think it did its job very well.

 

I think my biggest positive was Ras al Ghul. I like that they make it very clear he is the most dangerous villain Oliver has ever faced, both in terms of skill and his mind. I really enjoyed the scenes of him talking to Oliver in the Nanda Parbat. You could see how clever he is and how easily he got under Oliver’s skin, to a point where Oliver very nearly accepted his offer. It was both the little subtleties and how royal and authoritative he always appears that really define his character and I like he never shows any sign of weakness or panic. We also see how conniving he is and I look forward to seeing him more. He hold and exhibits real power just with his presence on screen and it’s fun to watch.

 

I really enjoyed the scenes with the original team Arrow members, being Oliver, Diggle and Felicty. It was great that it was them who convinced Oliver to not to take up Ras on his offer and it shows that no matter how many new characters they introduce, these will be the big three of team Arrow, a trifecta of awesome. Diggle’s great and his advice is as good as ever but the real enjoyable scenes were with Felicty. We had been missing these scenes between Oliver and Felicty lately and while she’s great with Ray it is nice to see them connect again. Their scenes always have a slight comedic edge with Felicty (Evil incorporated made me laugh) but they are always very heartfelt and meaningful. It shows us how much Oliver relies on Felicty and I will continues to enjoy their scenes. They’re two great characters that really complement each other perfectly and I don’t even mean in the romantic aspect, rather in terms of a bond and how it brings a real connection to the characters.

 

I’ve really come around to Laurel, I think she’s great which is not a popular opinion. I like that now she’s the Black Canary she is very relevant but she doesn’t take up too much focus. Kind of similar to Roy I think they’re using her the right amount and for me personally she really works. She’s pretty badass in a fight, she has some sass about her. She can be slightly overly emotional but so can everyone else, it’s just part of the drama. I no longer find her whiney, instead she’s more proactive and I like that she’s not trying to be Sara. I also find some of her dialogue quite funny, with the sass and occasional sarcasm and I think the writers are admittedly finally doing a god job with her.

 

It looks like we’ll be getting more of Nyssa and that is fine by me. I enjoy her character a lot, sure she does some cool assassin stuff but more importantly she is a very interesting character. She has obviously been very torn up by Sara’s death and her Father’s neglect and I’m looking forwards to seeing her motivations without following the league. I also enjoy her friendship with Laurel, they do have genuine respect for each other they do seem to find some comfort in each other of Sara. They’re both having a tough time and I hope and I hope this isn’t some fake out thing and Nyssa is just using Laurel, the friendships in Arrow are always really great, whether it’s within team Arrow or like when Tommy was still alive. The other thing that makes Nyssa interesting is she believes she is doing the right thing despite how many she kills. She does believe in justice and honour which is why I think she did seek out Laurel just for a friendly face and somewhere to go. Seems like we’ll get more of her and I can’t wait to see.

 

As always Merlin (That one big happy family line cracked me up) was great, Detective, I mean Captain Lance is very enjoyable to watch. I really felt the pain he was going through watching this, he was harsh but understandably so, he was lied to by everyone he trusts about the death of his own daughter. I also really enjoyed the action scenes in this episode, they were very well done as was the dialogue as always.

 

 

I did have some weak points though. The flashbacks were pretty pointless, pretty much nothing happened until we saw Shado right at the end. I’m sure it’ll be explained but I doubt that really was Shado, we saw her clearly dead and buried in a grave. It is interesting to see who that is but having Oliver and Akio walk around Honk Kong talking about nothing in particular and basically just filler wasn’t very interesting. It’s a shame as the flashbacks have been pretty weak lately but then again they do seem to be leading up to something so at least it’s not just wasted time, or at least I hope not.

 

Thea was also pretty weak here. She wasn’t awful but she did seem to whine quite a lot, similar to how she was in season one. The only saving grace was that she is going through a lot and it would probably send me crazy too, I just think they spent a little too much time with her as all she did in this episode was complain about how awful everything is. It’s not that they shouldn’t have shown this, just not quite as much.

 

The villain wasn’t very strong but then again he was by no means the focus. He just wasn’t very interesting, all he was there for was something for Oliver to save people from to get his realisation. He didn’t really serve much of a purpose, he could’ve been replaced with any random thug. I also didn’t really like Oliver’s realisation. He realised that he was doing this to help people? Isn’t that obvious and wouldn’t that be even easier to do as head of the league of assassins. Also he says about how there were casualties before saying he’s doing this to help people. I’m pretty sure a lot of people were shot, so a lot of the policemen didn’t make it home like he was saying. Maybe a bit of a nit-pick but I thought it was worth mentioning.

 

So where do I think the show is going? I think Roy is going to die. He’s coming into his own, he knows his place, things look okay for him and now he’s back together with Thea, it seems like they’re setting up a tragic death and I admit it would be tragic as Roy’s a great addition to team Arrow. However I think he’ll die so Thea can take the ‘Speedy’ mantel as well as heap more regret and tragedy onto her character to push her towards bigger things. Maybe it’ll make her do good or maybe it’ll unleash her inner darkness but I think it will happen.

 

Overall this episode was really good, then again I always say that about Arrow. It was enjoyable, it opened a lot of doors for what they can do and set up what is looking like it’ll be a really great climax to the season. Next week’s episode see’s Dig get married, the return of the suicide squad and the Atom learning the identity of the Arrow. I can’t wait.

 

 

 

The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Film Review

The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Film Review

What do you think of when you think of a Disney film? Personally I imagine a fairy tale with a likeable main protagonist lots of magic and wonder and a pleasant tale of good triumphing over evil. Something like that. I haven’t read Victor Hugo’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame but if I’m not mistaken it’s a dark and twisted story about the corruption of Church and it involves huge amounts of death, attempted rape and most the main characters dead. Not quite the same really so this does seem like a strange film for Disney to make. Furthermore this film came out after Pocahontas where Disney was starting to lose some of its popularity. This film had the making of a disaster so I sat down last week feeling extremely ill looking forward to ripping it apart. About ninety minutes later I had a film that made me wish I had written my top 5 animated films list after seeing this rather than before.

 

Does this film have problems? Yes it does. Is it perfect? Absolutely not? But the good in this film is so good I couldn’t not talk about it. The Hunchback of Notre Dame is about a hunchback named Quasimodo who lives in the bell tower of Notre Dame. He cannot leave and only interactions come with Judge Claude Frollo, a highly religious man who teaches Quasimodo to see himself as an abomination. The film is primarily about Quasimodo’s quest for acceptance and happiness as he eventually leaves the tower for the Festival of Fools and meets the Gypsy girl Esmeralda.

 

Let’s start with the story. While not the films strongest point it’s by no means bad. It’s pacing is a little off at times and it does occasionally feel slightly clunky but the film is in its characters, not plot. The film seemed to struggle whether to do what it wanted or be as faithful as possible to the novel, which as a Disney film we know won’t happen. It also confused me why the crowd randomly turned on Quasimodo and how abruptly Esmeralda and Phoebus fall in love. However it was enjoyable and the progression in the characters was clear, so I can’t complain.

 

Quasimodo is a very likeable character. It doesn’t take long for us to really get behind him and feel sorry for him, he has been so unfortunate in his life. While not the most subtle metaphor, him looking so ugly does make a point as he is such a kind individual with the purest of intentions. It’s impossible not to like this guy as he’s so endearing and good natured. However he’s not so perfect that he’s not realistic. He makes mistakes and uniquely for a Disney film he doesn’t get the girl but I can’t help but feel happy for him when he finds his acceptance and moves on with his life.

 

The love interest of the film (Quite a busy one with three guys after her) is a Gypsy named Esmeralda. She’s okay I guess but nothing special. She’s just your typical nice but independent female lead. Maybe the fact that she’s a Gypsy but acts kindly towards Quasimodo is supposed to be interesting but I didn’t really get that if it was the case. There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s just not particularly engaging. The same applies to Phoebus and their romance. Phoebus is the new captain of the guard and again there’s nothing really wrong with him. He had good intentions, he helps people etc he is kind of like the typical Disney Prince cliché, just a little bland. The romance between then is pretty dull too, they just throw one liners at each other and then fall in love. It does make more sense plot wise for them to be together it just doesn’t grasp my interest.

 

The main thing I wanted to talk about is the villain Frollo. This is a superb villain. His actions and intentions are as diabolical as any villain I can think of but he sees himself as a soldier for God and free of sin. He gets away with his awful deeds by convincing everyone, including himself that he’s doing it as an act of God. It makes not just a great villain, but a great character in general. He is very developed and interesting and is the best part of the film. His motivations are very controversial for a Disney film, he is essentially abusing his power as he lusts over Esmeralda. It’s twisted and almost shocking but at the same time it was interesting to see from a Disney film. It’s awful the way he makes Quasimodo inadequate is horrific and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing when I saw the old man smelling the young woman’s hair. Frollo was without doubt a fantastic villain.

 

Speaking of shocking, some of the imagery in this film was certainly unconventional from Disney, as was the constant talk of God and religion. I enjoyed the music in this film, not because it was catchy but because it was powerful and told the story. The opening song and Hellfire song in particular were great and I particularly enjoyed the choir which was powerful and impactful. The Hellfire song was very risqué for Disney with the imagery of a seductive woman, the begging to banish Esmeralda to Hell and Hell’s fire. This song was great because it gave us insight into Frollo and how he believes he isn’t to blame despite his many sins. It does exactly what a song should do in a musical and describe how the character is feeling and what is behind his or her motivations.

 

There were some problems however. The Gipsies and their culture in the film I thought were confusing, especially for a younger audience. It portrays them as thieves and uncivilised creatures at times, but at other times you’re supposed to be sympathetic at how they’re misunderstood. Then you see their fortress and it’s full of all their stolen stuff, but then Esmeralda, the one they all seem to look up to is kind and caring. Frollo wants to kill them all but Phoebus who is a high class civilian pity’s them. Even the Festival of Fools is conflicting in its messages. They come across at first as fun loving at first but they turn on Quasimodo quickly and practically bully and insult him to a point where he is extremely upset. Only Esmeralda is kind to him out of the entire Gypsy crowd. There song was odd too, not that it was bad, it was fairly entertaining but maybe it was just me but I found something about it quite uncomfortable and almost slightly off, like it was implying they were quite nefarious. Not the most important aspect of the film but certainly worth mentioning.

 

I’m never really a fan of the comic relief in these kind of films and here was no exception. They weren’t the worst comic relief I’ve ever seen, but in a darker film such as this they did feel more out of place. I never find these characters funny and while they weren’t so obnoxious that they spoilt the movie I did still find them irritating. I did enjoy them more when they appeared to be imaginary, it made sense for Quasimodo’s character to make imaginary friends but you see them in the final battle at the end fighting the guards and you realise they just come to life. They could be worse but they are a weaker aspect of the film.

 

The film is however grand in scale. The animation particularly Notre Dame itself was fantastic and the film just appeared huge. On top of this the Choir suits the film brilliantly as it gets across the feeling and tone of the film as well as simply sounding great. It was one of Disney’s more controversial and risky films but at the same time it’s one I think they did an excellent job with and one that I can see why they wanted to make this instead of just another fairy tale. As I said earlier it’s not perfect, it’s not that faithful to the novel. It is however and incredibly interesting adaptation, a deep and intriguing main character and villain with in depth motivation and personality and it is definitely worth a watch. If you haven’t seen it then I really advise you do, it really is worth your time.