Godzilla vs Voldemort - Who Would Win

Godzilla vs Voldemort - Who Would Win?

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Yes I really do answer an age old question today, one that has gripped the world for many years. Fans of both franchises will sit on the edge of their seats as I prove once and for all, who would win. 

 

I decided to take each combatant and take into account their strengths and weaknesses. There will also be no outside assistance for either Godzilla or Voldemort.

 So I said his name and I haven’t been killed. That’s a good start. Okay Voldemort’s most powerful weapon would naturally would be magic. Of all the any random spells Voldemort can cast his most notable one in a battle would be the killing curse. Yes instant death does appear to be a useful weapon in a one on one fight but this spell does get stopped by a mothers love so let’s keep looking through Voldemort’s arsenal. The Conjunctivitis Curse causes irritation to a targets eyes causing them to swell shut which you would expect to be a useful skill. There are many spells that can stun or cause some form of paralysis. Voldemort you would think could use these spells to his advantage, although his extreme arrogance could lead him to thinking he could simply over power Godzilla. There’s not much else to say about Voldemort, at the end of the day he’s a magical man with a stick.

 

Destroyah, the only Monster to beat Godzilla

We can look at the previous times Godzilla has actually died. Godzilla, despite appearing invincible has died twice. Once was in the original 1954 movie where he died of asphyxiation. The other time was when he fought a monster called Destroyah. Unfortunately for Mr. Voldemort neither of these are much use as the battle will not take place in a zero oxygen environment (and even if it did he would die too) and Voldemort’s way of fighting is slightly different from how Destroyah fights. Anyone who is thinking of the 1998 movie can go to the back of the class. The ‘Godzilla’ in that film was actually discredited by Japan and they named it Zilla since it was such a disgrace. There was a film in Japan called Godzilla Final Wars where Godzilla fought Zilla. Godzilla killed Zilla in less than a minute.

 

Let’s take a look Godzilla. It’s very easy to just say that Godzilla would just crush himself under his own weight. This is a ludicrous argument as we are looking at a World where Godzilla could theoretically exist. Saying Godzilla would just crush himself is like saying Voldemort would just be arrested because he’s waving around a stick saying how he’s going to murder everyone. Sorry people, magic doesn’t exist. This battle takes place in a world where both Godzilla and Voldemort can exist.

 

For Godzilla to exist he would have to have an extremely strong skeleton. He would also need either an immensely powerful heart or many smaller hearts to pump blood around his enormous body as well as incredibly strong arteries to withstand the huge amounts of pressure exhibited.

 

Try lying down for a few minutes and then jumping up quickly. You’ll feel a bit faint. This is because your heart can’t compensate for the brain suddenly being far above the level of your heart. Godzilla has extremely fast reflexes for an animal of such size and he can move surprisingly quickly. This would suggest he has multiple hearts. Some weird dinosaur he must’ve been. It’s impressive he doesn’t faint every time he lifts or turns his head, never mind getting knocked down and then getting back up. His arteries must be made of some incredibly resistant material.

 

In his battles over the years he gets knocked down many times but he always gets back up. We’ve already established that Godzilla has a skeleton strong enough but what about his internal organs. They would surely shatter if he fell. Apparently not. They are enforced by some amazingly strong organic material too.

 

Godzilla sounds more and more invincible with each point. I was actually worried that Voldemort would monster this but now all you Harry Potter fans may need to start worrying. Another issue Godzilla would have is strangely through overheating. He’s not going to do too well if he overheats before he can even get to Voldy. Godzilla has a tiny surface area to volume ratio and therefore he should in theory find it incredibly difficult to lose the heat produced by his organs and muscles. However I don’t remember the Godzilla film when he overheats. Therefore he must have some kind of internal mechanism to cool himself down.

 

The last thing worth mentioning is his skin. As we all know he can shrug off artillery fire as a minor annoyance. So his skin is incredibly tough. You’ expect large pieces to fall off as he walked if it is this tough. His skin must be some kind of thick organic Kevlar for Godzilla to not only move, but to survive the barrage of firepower that he faces in every one of his films. So Godzilla has an unnaturally strong Skeleton, internal organs, Skin/Hide, system of blood vessels and multiple hearts. I can’t imagine Voldemort can be fancying his chances at this point.

 

Godzilla Face palm after Voldemort waves his stick at him

Maybe the magical creatures from the Harry Potter world can help us. Dragons have similarities to Godzilla. Dragons have a magic resistance, as do giants. I found that in the Harry Potter world, large creatures resist magic. Godzilla is far bigger than anything I remember from Harry Potter. On top of this, I asked a friend, a big Harry Potter fan about Voldemort and Godzilla and he said that if Godzilla’s hide was as thick as a dragons then Voldemort’s curses would be ineffective and Godzilla’s only weak point would be his eyes. Godzilla would therefore have a huge advantage. I looked into this further and found out that the killing curse can be blocked by physical barriers, Godzilla’s hide for example. Things aren’t looking good for Voldemort as it appears his killing curse, his most powerful weapon would be ineffective.

 

One spell that does work on dragons is the Conjunctivitis Curse. Let’s imagine Godzilla’s magic resistance doesn’t resist this and Voldemort can somehow get a shot at his eyes. Godzilla is blinded temporarily … so what? What is Voldemort going to do now? Godzilla can easily survive falling as we already established with his tough skeleton and organs and Voldemort still can’t use the killing curse to any effect. So … what happens now? Godzilla gets over the curse and squashes Voldemort.

 

We’ve looked at Voldemort’s offensive options, let’s look at Godzilla’s. I found Godzilla to weigh around 60000 tonnes (With a conservative estimate). Stepping on Voldemort would surely kill him instantly. Okay maybe Voldemort will not go close enough to be stepped on. I’m pretty sure Godzilla’s atomic fire breath would kill Voldemort. I’m sure some of you will be screaming the word Horcrux but remember magical fiend fire can destroy a horcrux. It seems likely that atomic fire could do the same and even if it can’t, who’s going to resurrect Voldemort and risk the wrath of Godzilla.

 

Sorry Harry Potter fans but you’re dark lord is not winning this fight. The victor here is Godzilla. The Dark Lord is powerful but he was no match for the King of the Monsters! But is there any way you can feel disappointed. Who would you want to win? An evil man who wants you all dead you dirty muggles or a monster with little to no interest in humanity in most his appearances. Godzilla has even been known to help humanity. Even in his most recent appearance the world would be overrun with giant parasites without him. I’d quite happily support Godzilla in this. So in the words of Ken Watanabe: Let them fight.