The Facade of the Real You

The Façade of the Real You

Last time on random psychology / philosophy / society thing blog post I talked about the Real you. Who you really are? Well this time I’m going to expand on this with how maybe we sometimes don’t want people to see the real you. That we perhaps like to wear a metaphorical mask that hides it away. Why does this façade exist, what are we afraid of?

 

We want to be liked and accepted is the simple answer. This makes a lot of sense. Being alone is something everyone on earth fears at some point. Especially when going somewhere new we all want to make new friends and be accepted. The last thing we want is to be an outcast. Seems simple right? Sadly no. Hiding away the real you is a temporary fix, but it can also be exhausting. To make real friends and be truly comfortable is to be accepted for who you are. Letting out the real you is necessary in order to be happy, nothing is fun about constantly having to keep up the pretence of who you are.

 

You know ‘those people’. Those people who follow everyone else and just say and do what’s popular. The sheep type people who follow the crowd. It’s too be popular of course, but does it work? Kind of, maybe. Okay, they always have a large group of acquaintances and know a lot of people. However people tend to bitch about them behind their back. They don’t make those close friendships that other people do. You know those unpopular people who you say are strange or weird. It stands to reason they have an admittedly small number but very close friends. Which would you prefer?

 

Now I’m not saying this applies in every situation, far from it.  The point is thinking to yourself which you would prefer. I think about my own situation and I could ask my friends but all three of them are busy at the moments so I’m not really sure. It’s easy to say be yourself and you’ll be fine but we all know that isn’t true.

 

It’s almost tragic at times, being yourself can be a terrible thing for your social life. They may be stereotypes but they do exist. It’s fact that certain types of people and certain activities are far more common and popular. That’s not bad against those people, it can just be difficult for other types of people. Hence the façade of who we really are comes in to mask over the personality traits that won’t fit in. How would most people react if you asked about their favourite yu-gi-oh card or favourite piece of classical opera? There’s nothing wrong with these things at all, they’re just not popular. But to fit into the trends you may have to pretend to be a fan of popular music or something less nerdy than yu-gi-oh like Magic the Gathering. It can be a difficult line to tread.

 

So what’s the solution? Is it good to mask your personality in the pursuit of acceptance? I’m not ignorant enough to say you should just be yourself and you’ll find ‘your people’. However I am ignorant enough to say that you should try. After all, it is better to have tried to find your own way than live life as a sheep. Or as per usual when I write these things, you may think I’m full of crap. That would be understandable. Either way have a think, you may enlighten yourself a little and join me for the next psychology / philosophy / society thing blog post thing next week which will hopefully be on Monday. I think it’s a good one.

The Meaning of Life

The Meaning of Life

It’s highly likely you have asked this question at some point during your life in some regard. Who are we? Why are we here? Yes a very interesting question that many believe has no real answer. I’m going to look into this notion to see if I can actually find an answer.

 

I started by looking at things scientifically. Science look at how we exist with events such as the big bang and concepts such as evolution. While looking at the beginnings of the universe or how creature change over time is interesting it doesn’t really help in our question. Science discovers how, we’re looking at why.

 

The logical next place to look was religion. Religion will often to either one or multiple Gods for the meaning of life. How they have given us meaning and to live in goodness while limiting sin. However we’re not all religious and even those who are have different religions or interpret the same religion differently. Religion is not the answer to this question.

 

Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going?
 A painting by Paul Gauguin

What are good and evil? Two things often referred to but do we really understand what they are. It often seems like some arbitrary opinion that decides what is good and what is evil. Honestly the concept of good and evil is a very black and white way to look at the world, while the world is anything but black and white. Some things we would all agree are wrong at any time but these examples are few and far between. Some actions may seem wring at face value but may be necessary for the greater good.

 

Soldiers kill people to protect their country. Killing is apparently wrong so are soldiers evil. Obviously not. Are the soldiers on the other side evil? No. They are doing the same thing as the soldiers on our side. Good and evil are just different points of view. Often someone doing something you deem ‘evil’ or ‘wrong’ will be doing what they believe is right. What they believe is good. Does this mean make you good simply because you don’t agree? Equally does a large majority believing the same thing make it the right thing? We all know the answer to that question.

 

So is the meaning of life to be good as oppose to evil? No, simply because good and evil do not exist for the majority of circumstances and even if they did who decides what is right and wrong? You? A God? Why should anyone else, even if they are a God decide what is right and wrong? Shouldn’t we have free will to choose what we do?

Do we even have free will? Some would say no. Do you believe in fate and destiny? Some people believe we are all just part of some computer program, being controlled by superior beings. There’s nothing to disprove this theory but equally nothing proves it. We discussed this in my physics class and some people said it freaked them out. How about destiny? Does some greater force control what we do and who we are? What happens to us and whether we are happy or sad? If this is the meaning of life, that we’re not in control then so be it. The key is even if they are already chosen, we have the illusion of choice. When we choose to do something we thing we are making that choice. As long as we have the illusion of choice we at least feel like we have free will.

 

Is being free the meaning of life. People have fought for the right to be free for as long as humanity has existed. Do we have a birth right to freedom? I’d like to think we should but my opinion is meaningless. What defines free? We can make our own choices. Even a slave can choose to try and escape. So in a way all of us a free to an extent. Free to choose, or at least we think so. So if this is true how can freedom be the meaning of life? If we are all free then what is the meaning behind it. I’d argue there is none.

 

Confused? I was. The meaning of life I guess is an impossible to answer conundrum. We will never know and would be better of just not thinking about it. We should just live out our lives. Unless we shouldn’t. Maybe there is more to this than it being an impossible to answer question. I do have a bit of a spin on the subject. Are you intrigued? What do you think about this? Next Monday I post part 2 to this discussion. Until then …